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The Dialogue that Drives Change

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Every week, I meet with managers and executive teams grappling with one of the biggest challenges in leadership: using feedback as a tool for achieving sustainable change. Just a few days ago, I encountered a manager who had given up.

It’s pointless! No matter how hard I try, there’s always someone who’s dissatisfied. It’s impossible to get it right.

I can certainly understand that feeling, the sense of resignation despite all efforts. However, there are ways to succeed, even with this seemingly impossible challenge.

It’s incredibly important that we provide our managers with feedback and set expectations. How else would a manager know what to provide feedback on if the employee does not clearly articulate their needs? And how can a manager develop if not through feedback?

In my discussions, I hear from several large organisations that have actually given up. Or rather, they’ve realized that feedback is a concept so fraught with problems that it no longer works. From the hype of creating a well-functioning feedback culture, to periods where only positive reinforcement was allowed, to others where corrective feedback is claimed to be the only way to get employees to do the right things. These organisations, having abandoned the concept of feedback, now talk instead about dialogue. And I think there’s something tasteful in emphasizing that it’s not just about responding to something that has happened. Dialogue demands participation from both parties, with clear expectations in both directions, based on our needs as individuals.

How do I want my dialogue?

  • Frequency?
  • Timing?
  • Any specific areas?
  • Level of detail?
  • From whom?

Effective feedback is not just one-directional

For us to provide what the counterpart expects, we also need to learn how to receive. Here, managers in many sectors have a lot to learn: effective feedback is not just one-directional. Managers in certain industries perform better than others in leadership.

At Brilliant, our studies have shown that organizations that have made dialogue work also have managed to foster strong employee engagement. And as you all already know, it is among our engaged employees that we also find our ambassadors. The willingness to recommend (ambassadorship) is quite important, both for retaining key employees and attracting the right skills for the future.

I think again about that manager who had given up. I am prepared to agree with her; dealing with feedback is difficult. If you continue to give the same thing to everyone, you may mostly garner dissatisfaction. But if you give yourself some time to reflect, it also becomes easier to act wisely by ensuring that the dialogue is:

  • Concrete, preferably down to the behavior level: What exactly am I doing?
  • Tailored to the individual: What are the recipient’s needs?
  • Timely: Do not respond immediately, but take time to tailor and be specific, yet make sure to provide feedback within 24 hours.
  • Positive: Reinforcing what is good builds up, creates security, and encourages employees to continue with behaviors we want to see more of.

It’s certainly not easy, but it is doable. By working systematically and with clear goals, one can definitely move from point A to B. But this transition requires feedback to smooth the path. Feedback to get better at feedback? Yes, exactly. For the dialogue to work, every manager needs feedback on how they are developing their ability to engage in dialogue.

If we are to establish a culture where feedback truly serves as a tool for creating long-term sustainable change, then it is also important to understand why we want to do this. And that the entire organization, with all its employees, understands and buys into this reason. This anchoring will demand great clarity and persistence. But it is possible to succeed.

If you want to know more about how you as a manager or your organisation can work with feedback and what we at Brilliant can offer to support you, your teams, and managers in this effort, do not hesitate to get in touch.

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